Creepy Crawler

Well…first it was Jesus, then it was DYNAMO (the English magician, not the washing powder).

Now…it’s my son’s turn, to…

“Walk on Water!”

Okay, if you wanna get technical (and I know that you do), he can’t actually “walk”, yet.

BUT…

He can “commando crawl”.

And better yet, he CAN do it…“ON” water.

Making him, the first person in recorded history, to EVER…

“Commando Crawl…on Water!”

(There’s never a biblical scribe when you need one).

And…if you feel the need to get technical once again (and I know that you do), then…

“La-la-la-la-la-la-laaaa…I can’t hear you…la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaa!”

Enjoy this“momentous” video 😉

Just Add Water

Found a great recipe today.

Take one 7 month old baby boy…

And just add water!

Indy’s first swimming lessons.

And boy, he takes to water like Justin Bieber takes to hair products…

“Let me at ’em, LET ME AT ‘EM!”

The way he was windmilling his little arms with excitement, he could have powered through the water like a little motor boat, or taken out 10 guys at once in a boxing title fight.

His confidence in the water is like Billy Crystal, on stage. Singing, dancing and entertaining as hell.

It’s like he used to live the first 9 months of his life in a liquid environment…(or something?)

Learning to swim invokes a gamut of experiences and emotions for both of us. From splashing around like a joyous madman, to clinging to me for dear life. Seeing his little face rippling under water as he surges toward me is an unforgettable moment, that looks somewhere between a mixture of “Wow, how cool is this liquidy stuff!” to “Don’t EVER do that again!”

But it’s a great feeling to see and feel him put his trust in you and know that no matter what, he’ll be okay. And while he’s occasionally choking on water, Daddy’s choking back emotions of pride and joy watching his little boy become a regular little Water Baby.

He Slimed Me…

If you’re a fan of the movie, Ghostbusters, then you will no doubt remember the scene when Egon and Ray stumble upon Peter Venkman, writhing on the floor in a glistening wet pool of ectoplasm following his first encounter with a real ghost, and uttered those inimitable and prophetic words…

“He slimed me…”

I say, prophetic, because fast forward to today, my official first day as Stay-At-Home Dad after Mumma returned to work today, and as I just finished giving my son his mid-morning bottle of “Chard-o-mamma”, I found myself uttering that exact same phrase.

A few mls short of finishing off the bottle, he turned his face away in the same way you can’t look at the screen whenever Tori Spelling comes on the TV. I asked him if he needed to burp, and as I placed him upright in my lap, it sounded like he’d just released The Kraken.

A split second later, we met the Kraken. In the form of a projectile vomit that awarded him the gold medal at the Exorcist Olympics. And as we sat there, dripping from head to foot, we splutteringly looked at each other in disbelief.

“Oh my god, are you okay? What did you just…”

But before I could finish my sentence, he turned to me straight in the face as if to say,

“In case you missed it the first time…BLUUUUURGH!!”

Gunned down by torpedo number 2, like a rioter blasted by a water cannon.

Our shocked blinking eyes, the only thing visible from beneath a symbiotic pool of dripping ectoplasm. I held my son in outstretched hands and immediately thought of Dr. Venkman.

So, that was my baptism into my first day as a Stay-At-Home Dad. The how and why it happened, I can only surmise that maybe…(just maybe)…he might have drank too much milk, too quickly?

I dunno. Is 2 gallons too much for a 6 month old? It seems just enough to get my car from the garage to the letterbox.

I guess, being a Dad means to expect the unexpected, and anything short of a giant Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man breaking down the house, anything strange in my neighbourhood, I know exactly who I’m gonna call…

Mumma!

Whatchoo Talkin’ ‘Bout, Willis?

Ever had the desire to do something, “just because you can?”

This morning we woke up and the tiny voice that talks to me inside my head, was actually outside my head, and we both did a double-take when we realised…

Holy cow, our son can talk!

It’s as if Indy suddenly woke up today and decided to speak, “just because he can”.

And his first words of choice…

DA-DA!

YESSSSSS!! (Hi-fives all round…cigars anyone?)

Next on the agenda of his Parliamentary Address…

“I LOVE YOU”
(Admittedly, this was not immediately directed at me, but to a burp cloth he nabbed off the bed… ah, who am I kidding? YES, it was directed squarely at mummy and she deserves that credit, it’s probably the most uttered phrase whispered in our household).

Daddy: “What are you two whispering about?”
Mummy: (sheepishly) “Nothing…”
Indy: (sparkly-eyed…yet, conspiratorially) GRIN-GRIN-GRIN

And finally, in conclusion to his inaugural speech…

“INDY”

Our hearts swelled with pride as he repeated his phrases over and over (so we knew it wasn’t a fluke), and at the rate he’s going, I dare say he’ll be a right little chatterbox.

We glared proudly into each others eyes, it was like we could read each others mind…

Daddy: “Thank god my weeks of training him to say DA-DA have paid off!”
Mummy: “It’s not a contest…damn.”

😉

Do Me A Solid?

KNOCK-KNOCK
Who’s there?
My six monks.
My six monks who?
My six monks old baby, that’s who!

Can you believe it? Our little bloke has just notched up half a year on his nappy belt. Which makes me wonder if he’s still considered a baby or is he now a toddler? And what actually is the difference? Sources tell me a toddler is when he starts wearing velvet robes, a cravat, smokes a pipe and sips martinis. (“Sources” is a term used loosely for the voices in my head). And if that’s the case, Hugh Hefner is the luckiest toddler in town.

But it also means some chemical changes are going on. Namely…“fusion”. Now, before you break out the hazmat suits and confuse it with nuclear fusion, (mind you, I’m pretty sure some of his nappy contents would set off a Geiger counter), it’s also the state in which a liquid changes to a solid. (Not to be confused with WA, which is the state in which all your solids revert to liquid…that’s some heat, phew!).

Known to scientists as “solidifying”, known to parents as, “eating” and known to babies as, “remodelling” the kitchen. (See also: “How can I get this tiniest bit of food and spray it all over the walls, ceiling, floor, myself, mummy and daddy…without actually getting any of it in my mouth?”)… Or the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan…but with food.

Which means we now have the incredibly interesting and somewhat amusing task of putting different types of food in front of him and see what he does.

At the end of round one, the judge’s scores are as follows;

Banana – thumbs up.
Armadillo – who are you trying to kid?
Avocado – much easier to get out of its shell.
Sweet potato – big thumbs up.
Unsweet potato – whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?
Broccoli – thumbs down.
Broccolini – thumbs up.
(Maybe because when choosing which foods to eat, broccolini is so much easier to rhyme with “Eanie-Meanie”…)

And at this point, the clear winner by far is…

Apricots

And seeing as they have a laxative affect, it’s smells smiles all round for all of us. And all this mess has brought out my innovative side, where instead of trying to clean up all the food that ends up on the floor, his high chair fits perfectly into his wading pool. All he needs is a quick hosing down after meals. Only problem is, he’s not allowed out of his chair for an hour after eating 😉

That’s the rules…I saw it on Baywatch.

Wading pool makes for a great food catcher!

This kid will eat anything…even a car!