Are We There Yet?

Week 40 and today is…

the DAY!!!


We’re all primed and ready. The nursery is good to go, the change table is stocked to capacity, the car seat’s installed and the bags are all packed. Only one thing missing…

The baby!

The oven timer has officially gone off, but the light must be out inside the oven because there’s just no way we can see inside to see if he’s done. Well, nothing that doesn’t involve a snorkel, a penlight and some swimming goggles at least. And sitting between her legs waving a rattle or jiggling keys has no effect on him whatsoever, but does make the other customers in the chemist checkout, a little squeamish.

And then of course, there’s the aches and pains, the shortness of breath and constant moaning to deal with.

Not hers…mine.

Damn head cold (which is why we were at the chemist in the first place). There were a couple of niggling pains this morning when we were there (which did get me momentarily excited!!!), but nothing beyond that.

So, we’re still at home playing the waiting game. We’ve tried plenty of advice for bringing him on. Walking around, crawling on all fours, acupressure ’til my fingers went numb, raspberry leaf tea and even SEX. Maybe we’ll have more luck if we try them on HER, instead? The only thing left to do is look for a local rodeo and saddle her onto a bucking bronco…oh, wait. I already mentioned we tried that.

Anyway, all we can do is wait. So, I’ve donned my uniform and standing by the BatPhone, dressed and ready for action…whenever THAT may be?


Schnitzel or Schnitzelle?

Week 19 and we are one week away from knowing whether or not we have a schnitzel or a schnitzelle cooking in the oven.

It’s really exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. I don’t know whether to jump for joy or pee my pants. Probably best not to do both, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of that behaviour once the oven timer “dings”.

We visited the Maternity Clinic this week. I’ve never seen so many pregnant women in one place! My lovely angel whispered in my ear…

“You okay? I know how excited you get around pregnant women!”

Damn, and I’d left my apron at home as well.

I was totally surrounded. I felt like the odd man out at The Biggest Loser auditions. Still, it’s kind of comforting to know this “pregnancy” thing, seems to happen all the time, so it feels like we’re in good hands.

The Midwives seem extremely lovely and supportive, our Doctor on the other hand (still lovely and supportive), but very “old school”, in that, she pulled the curtain across in front of me in the examination room so I couldn’t “see the show”. I felt like a dirty perve listening outside the shower curtain, made worse by the fact I was breathing heavily and rubbing my hands together. (Well, I did have to run out to move the car before my parking expired).

We heard our schnitzel/elle’s heart beating through the ultrasound, and if I could have seen my love’s smiling face on the other side of the curtain, I expect it was just as big as mine 🙂

It’s hard not to get excited. I am so looking forward to finding out just who it is that’s in there, causing all this fuss. And yes, if you’re wondering what that sound is, it’s the cluck, cluck, cluck of a very nervous and excited dad…trying desperately not to pee his pants!