Oh man, teething… how cool is that? I mean, everybody tells you about it, but they forget to tell you just how absolute fun, it can be!
Let’s play Baby Chefs. Where I’m an aspiring chef preparing you a lovely meal and you can be Gordon Ramsay, telling me it’s all sh*t, you’re having none of it and send it ALL back to the kitchen.
Like guessing games? Okay…which cheek is redder?
Or, the perennial favourite…throw up in a public place? The fun never stops!
And productive, my god…totally!
It’s great for your health. Forget aerobics, patooey to pilates, scrap the stairmaster and throw away your old exercise machine forever. Who needs a gym membership when you’ve got, teething!
It’s great for your heart rate and what an amazing aerobic workout, just by getting up maybe, 60-70 times a night! It’s great for your self confidence because you pass the point where you give a damn what anybody else thinks of you, and stress…wow, you look thinner already! Just from lack of sleep and not eating properly! And don’t worry about those love handles, the bags under your eyes and furrows in your brow totally distracts anyone’s eye from looking at those unsightly bulges.
And teething is fantastic at giving you time back with your family. No more unruly dinner parties or bothersome get togethers with friends you really, really like. Nothing helps clear your schedule faster and easier than teething. But don’t take my word for it, listen to our satisfied customers…
Mumma: “I really love snuggling up in bed with my husband, but thanks to ‘teething’, I can now enjoy the whole bed to myself while hubby sleeps on the couch with the baby monitor, so I can get at least 3 minutes of sleep. Thank you, ‘teething'”
Daddy: “Having such wonderful friends and family that we love spending time with, living all over the place and with petrol prices the way they are, it can cost us a small fortune meeting up with them all. But thanks to ‘teething’ our social calendar has never had so many cancellations. I don’t have to drive anywhere! Thank you, ‘teething'”
So, act now. Get yours today!
“But, my son only has one tooth.”
Then wait, there’s more…(to come)…
Our operators are standing up inside their cots, to take your orders.
Call this number…“000”. International orders, phone “911”
“Teething” – fun for the whole family.