Stupid Newton

On this day in 1666, Bert Newton’s younger brother, Sir Isaac Newton, discovered gravity when an apple fell on his head. (Okay, it might not have been this day exactly, but it certainly has a Wednesday “feel” about it). And subsequently, devised the theory of gravity that…

“What goes up…must come down.”

Obviously, Newton was not a father. Because if he knew anything at all about babies, then he should know the opposite is true…

“What goes down…almost always, at some point…must come back up!”

And so it was, that today, Indy discovered that Newton…

Was full of sh*t.

It’s hard to keep a good man down…even harder to keep down a belly full of milk. Today was a first for us, when Indy discovered that not only can you spew your hard earned sustenance all down the front of your clothes, but you can also do it…

Through your NOSE…

And he did not like it…at all.

But the look on his face was priceless. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen a 5 month old baby look at you like, “What the hell was that? How did that even happen?” But it’s the same face you have when you hear the phrase, “Big Brother returns for another season” or “Jessica Simpson wins Academy Award”.

And for both of us, we learned two very important lessons…

DO NOT: drink your milk down like it’s going out of fashion.
DO NOT: play the “Sit down, Stand up” game directly following said fashion statement.

Stupid Daddy…Stupid Newton.

Indy Newton

The Lone Ranger

“A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty “Hi Ho Silver, Away!”

It’s amazing how much easier it is to sleep without all the usual gurgling, farting, snorting, cooing, squeaking, squawking that normally goes on of an evening. And now that Indy’s in his own room at the other end of the house…he shouldn’t be able to hear any of it!

That’s right, Indy has saddled up his trusty steed and headed out west to the open pastures of his Big Boy Cot on the sweeping plains (or at least, some light vacuuming), of his very own room. And although he’s still sleeping for about the same length of time (every 3-4 hours), it has improved the quality of sleep, somewhat.

Not his…ours.

And in the few minutes of actual sleep that we do get, it seems to be a much deeper sleep. Which is why my wife sounds like Barry White(and I sleep with one eye open).

But just because he’s now up the other end of the house, does not mean he’s out of sight nor out of mind (though at times, it feels like both of us are out of the latter). We still manage to keep a close eye and ear on him, as well as monitor every farty-party aspect of his behaviour, through the ever watchful eyes and ears of the Baby Monitor.

Indy’s time in the Big Brother HOUSE has begun.

And the monitor we bought way back when at the Baby And Toddler Expo (see post here), has some cool features like infra-red video, audio, temperature readout, lullaby music control and night light, all controlled from our handset. It does have another function that was probably good in theory, but not so much in practice. It’s a Push-to-Talk feature. In other words, you can push a button and talk to Indy to calm him down when he’s upset, from the warmth and comfort of our own bedroom, kind of like an intercom. HOWEVER…you can’t hear s#*t, when his air-raid siren is blaring. So, in essence, it’s just like the phone coverage we get from 3 and Vodaphone. We stand there yelling into the damn thing until we just give up and text each other or walk over and talk to each other in person.

And the other thing I discovered about having Indy in his own room, is sneaking out of the room when he’s asleep is a lot like stepping off a land-mine or diffusing a bomb. You move slowly and stealthily. You’re under the exact same pressure to leave that room quietly, as you are asking yourself, “do I cut the red wire or the green wire?”

Because all it takes, is one wrong step and…

KABLOOEY!!!

It’s back to square one for you.

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