Child Revive First Aid

My lovely wife is always full of great ideas, the first being, marrying me. A while ago, she did a First Aid Course for Kids at work and because she’s always thinking of me (another thing we have in common), she thought I too, could benefit from learning such things, seeing as I will be the stay-at-home dad, next year. And being the caring, responsible, lovely person she is, she thought her whole Mother’s Group could benefit as well. So, a couple days ago, she organised a Baby/Child First Aid course for us all, conducted by Chantelle from Child Revive First Aid.

Thank you to Meghan, for hosting the event and for having a living room large enough to look like a school bus exploded.

Total Baby Carnage

The course itself was a real eye-opener. Indy, twice performing his exploding nappy trick, also an eye opener. As you can see from the pic above, we had special CPR babies and Children, to practice on. What surprised me the most, was just how hard you need to press down on the chest, in order to provide affective CPR, and how little breath you need to fill their little lungs. But I feel confident that if Indy was ever in trouble or I happened across a child with no arms and legs, I’d know exactly what to do.

I ordered off the kids menu, and this is what they bring me? Oh well, dig in…

The course covered a whole range of things from CPR, cuts, abrasions, burns, poisons, etc. Just about anything your child can get into that gives YOU a heart attack.

And there is a new acronym to help you remember all the steps of things to assess when your child is in trouble…

The Primary Assessment – DRSABCD

D – Danger
R – Response
S – Send for help
A – Airway
B – Breathing
C – CPR
D – Defibrillation

Which is way more effective than the acronym I came up with…

P – Poke with a stick
A – Ask, “Why me?”
N – Nail-bite
I – Ignore
C – Call a pizza ambulance

But hopefully, you won’t need to use the last step (D – Defibrillation), at anytime in your life. It’s crazy weird to know that shopping centres and all kinds of places now have portable defibrillators on hand that anyone can use, without any training needed. That’s okay if you need to jump start your car or administer mild electro-shock treatment to an hysterical shopaholic during a stocktake sale, but the last thing I want to hear if I’m semi-conscious on the ground, is a hillbilly accent drawling over me…

“Gorn Cleatus, crank ‘er up. Le’see what this baby can do!”

And I think we got a glimpse of Indy’s personality during the slide show presentation. “Coughing” right on cue when Chantelle mentioned the subject of Choking(That’s my boy…a regular little comedian, or make that…extra small, be some time before he’s a regular).

So, do yourself (and your kids), a favour and get with the program. It could be a real life saver.

P.S. – It’s also a good excuse for cupcakes 😉

Stick It To The Man

OMG! Has it been six weeks already?

My, how time does fly. Where’s a Delorean when you need one?

And just as Doc Brown from Back To The Future said, “Once this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious shit,”. So it is for us, that our baby has hit 6 weeks (see 88m/hr), and the serious shit (see ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch), is of course…

Immunization

How can one little prick cause so much upset? (See Adolf Hitler, Obama Bin Laden, Colton from Survivor)

Or, so we thought…

Mums definitely have two distinct calming advantages when it comes to soothing away your troubles…

“They’re called boobs, Ed.” – Erin Brockovich

Boobs are an incredibly effective means of numbing any pain a man (big or little), might have. You can see it instantly, the very moment he snuggles in, latches on and suddenly…

Num…num…num…

Pain and Upset…GONE! — That’s a double-act nobody wants to see anyway, like Lara Bingle and The Shire….(though equally, just as painful).

So, our little man took it pretty well. That sudden look of, “No, you di’int…WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!” Followed by the red-faced silent breath of air that sucks into his lungs, right before the air-raid siren rips…stifled by the num-num-numbness of that “happy place”.

BTW: Don’t think for one second that Daddy didn’t miss the fact that mummy wanted him to hold Indy so that any pain he might experience would be associated with HIM and not HER at all. Daddy’s cluey about that sort of thing.

But that means I can now rest a little easier knowing our little one is protected from some of the hidden (microscopic) dangers of the world. So, at least he has a better chance of becoming a happy and healthy little boy and not end up an extra in The Walking Dead.

Be strong(I’m talking to you, Daddy)

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Twenty-one Today…twenty-one today!

Can’t believe our little schnitzel is growing up so fast. It seemed like only yesterday he was just an egg, now he’s suddenly 21…

Weeks! (that is).

It’s about now, my mind clicks into overdrive!

We’re creating a whole human beingfrom nothing!

This is the kind of stuff, that “God” person, wrote about in that really old book, what was it…

Where Do Babies Come From?

Now’s the time for weird thoughts to start creeping into my head. Thoughts like…

Am I god? God is the creator, I created, therefore…I AM GOD!

Then my beautiful angel reminds me…

“Ah, you know we’re having a baby, right? It’s not all about you!”

Sorry, my bad. My thoughts about him

# 21 Weeks?…That’s like, 147 day old sperm in there.

# If I press my head against your belly, do you think he can read my thoughts?

# What if he wasn’t just confined to your womb? What if he could crawl around anywhere under your skin? Imagine if you were trying to walk up stairs but couldn’t bend your knee because there was a big bulge behind your knee where he was tucked away? Or what if he crawled up to your neck and sat on your shoulder like he was a parrot?

But, these are just normal thoughts every first time dad has, right honey?Honey? Where are you going? Should you be carrying a suitcase in your condition? Mind you, your arms look huge, like a baby crawled up inside your — Oh my GOD!!

There’s just so much to think about, I mean…

This impacts…the entire universe!

Not only is my lovely one’s belly expanding, but now, the whole entire universe is expanding, thanks to us! All of the atoms in the entire universe will have to shove over to make more room for our little man, when he arrives. That’s HUGE…or maybe I should take my wife’s advice

Honey, stop thinking now…