A Bit Less Than Everything

Posted in 0-6 months, The Baby Years, Thoughts by

Well, I guess it was inevitable that this day would come.

For close on ten years, our worlds have revolved around each other. She is the world to me and I am the world to her. Soul mates. The love of each other’s lives and we would tell each other every single day…

“I love you more than ANYTHING.”

And that still holds true.

The birth of our beautiful son only helps to cement those feelings even further…

Buckling our little man into his car seat this morning for a quick Mummy/Bubba visit with Granny, his beaming smile…uh…“beaming” back at us, we kissed and embraced in the garage, our usual fond farewells. My love squeezed me tight and whispered lovingly in my ear…

“I love you more than ANYTHING…except him“.

THE CROWD ROARS!! — As she knocks it out of the ball park!

Translation:

I LOVE YOU…a bit less than everything.

We laughed hysterically.

(But somewhere on a tiny island in my heart…Jeff Probst snubbed my torch out).

Way to make me feel Number Two.

And with a cocked eye-brow and a cheeky wink, she smiles…

“I can’t be disingenuous with you. You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way, that he’s the most important thing in your life?”

And while my mouth said, “No”, my heart said…

“Shit.”

She’s right. The only difference is…I would never actually say that. I prefer to keep my feelings…in writing…on the internet…for all of prosperity…or until the server goes down in the great Skynet Battle against the machines sometime in the distant future.

The fact remains, the scales of balance are tipping in his favour. Tipping? Who am I kidding? The scale has already tipped so far in his direction, it’s doing cartwheels down the hill.

And as I process this further, to say to each other “I love you…a bit less than everything”…from his perspective, means…

“I love you…a little more than nothing”.

And THAT, is so far from the truth…you need the Hubble Space Telescope to see it.

8 thoughts on “A Bit Less Than Everything”

  2. Justin, you are not comparing “apples with apples”. The love you feel for you child is automatic- you can’t help it. Yes it’s stronger than anything you’ve ever felt, but that’s also because you have no control over it, that is a scary concept. You CHOOSE to love your wife, that takes constant work, dedication and commitment. It will test you and your fear over and over, your BABY doesn’t do that. There are psychological/biological connections to take into consideration when you love you child, they’re not more important because they seem stronger, they are simply different pathways to your bliss. One is automatic, one is chosen, BOTH ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT. You have to accept that you are not each others’ Silver Medal, you now both have 2 GOLD Medals! The only difference is that at this moment in time one of the Gold Medals is shinning brighter than the other. There is a biological reason for this, if you don’t feel this “stronger love” for your child at the moment, the child doesn’t survive, in order to ensure the survival of the species, you have to feel this way….don’t panic….it doesn’t last….they become teenagers!
    I have a blended family and I always resented the fact that I thought my husband loved his children more than me. Then our marriage hit a really bad patch, my husband had no idea how much he loved/needed me. That’s when I got it, you can live without the love of your children, but you will shrivel up and die without the love of your sole mate, yet the love of your child seems stronger. It doesn’t make sense but it is what it is. Also, in pouring that love into your child you are actually tending to your partners love by default.
    TWO GOLD MEDALS I TELL YOU!

    Reply

Leave a comment