Your job as a dad, is similar to that of a UFC Cage Fighter, Roman Gladiator, Lion Tamer and/or…being attacked by a grizzly bear!!!
Your main objective…
Show No Fear!
Wait…that last one, you’re supposed to lay down on the ground and pretend to be dead, right?
(same diff) 😉
So, when you’re sitting in the doctor’s waiting room waiting to go in for Indy’s 4 month immunisation shots and your wife asks you if you’re nervous…show no fear (see lie, lie, lie) or…lay down on the waiting room floor and pretend to be dead (see geezuz, how old are you? Get off the floor, you’re embarrassing us!).
Sitting in that room looking into those big, sparkling, trusting blue eyes, nonchalantly chewing on those playful little fingers, innocently drooling, completely ignorant of the horrors that await on the other side of that door…I can hardly stand it. I can’t be responsible for lulling him into a false sense of security, then watch his world unravel as he tears my throat apart, choking me to death (ala Homer Simpson style), “Why you little…”
I take a deep breath, puff out my chest, reassure my wife that “Sure, he’ll be fine”, then…collapse like a crying school girl and confess everything like a mafia stooge with a gun to his head.
“When we go in, there’s a doctor in there who’ll give you two needles. There will be some stinging, but it’s only temporary, and mummy and daddy will be there to look after you, so everything will be okay.”
And he looks at me like he understands what I’m saying…or pooping, (I go with the former). And so, with nerves of tin foil, we grit our teeth and head on in.
And we had a great time, go figure? Not only, did he only cry for about 3 seconds with each shot, but he was also cracking jokes and making our doctor giggle his guts out. At this stage, our boy’s more the physical humour type, and was sucking the medicine out of the tube so quickly before the doc could hardly hold onto it, and making all kinds of crazy faces, the doc was actually giggling and laughing so much, he could hardly look Indy in the face and do his job at the same time.
Which only goes to show, when it comes to showing no fear, our lad has that in spades. And when I grow up, I only wish daddy has the same amount of courage as he does.